


Smooth

by CC99trialanderrorgirl



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Light Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Pining, steve's inner monologue, the boys are precious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2017-04-09
Packaged: 2018-10-16 23:01:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10581291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CC99trialanderrorgirl/pseuds/CC99trialanderrorgirl
Summary: The nickname is ironic, but Steve's love life works out in the end anyway.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is my second post on AO3. Please be kind, and I hope you all enjoy the story!

Steve felt like he was about to lose his mind. This wasn’t like him. Not at all. He’d always been able to keep his emotions tightly locked away. Even before he was a SEAL, even before the accident that had sent him to the mainland, even before his early years as his high school football team’s quarterback…even before all of that, Steve had always been cautious with his heart. His body, well, that was easy to throw around. He had a confidence in his physical competence, a sense of assurance that could only come from true, inborn athleticism. His training had only intensified it. So no, Steve wasn’t afraid to go crashing into danger full tilt and sans backup. But when it came to letting people in, well, that was different. He’d started out as a sensitive boy – tough on the outside, but soft on the inside. Not much had really changed, and Danny’s gooey cookie analogy hadn’t been too far off the mark.

But there was one major piece of the puzzle that Danny had missed. Steve…well, he wasn’t as confident as he seemed. He projected well, oh yeah. But deep down, Steve wasn’t really sure he was as attractive as everybody claimed. The second a cute guy spoke to him, he turned into a shy recruit fresh out of high school, toeing his boot in the sand and avoiding eye contact until the guy would just give up and go away, leaving Steve standing there, cheeks burning in embarrassment and shame. So no, he wasn’t Smooth Dog at all. It was more of an…ironic…nickname, born out of his lame and failed attempts to get girls on shore leave. Everyone would laugh because he was “so pretty” but “just couldn’t close.” They called him dumb, just a sailor, nothing in between the ears. It hurt. And Steve had internalized it. Plus, there had been DADT at the time, so he had pretty much never picked up a guy except for one or two _very_ memorable occasions; when it came to the dudes, he was even less confident.

All of this meant, basically, that Steve had no idea how to ask Danny Williams out on a date.

He’d wanted to for a while now. Ever since they met, guns drawn, there had been something between them…a _spark._ It burned more brightly after their first physical altercation, followed by that heated argument in the car. After years of working together, living their lives side by side, it had pretty much ignited into a nuclear inferno – impossible to put out, feeding off of itself, constantly growing stronger. Steve knew plenty about chemical reactions and nuclear warfare. He didn’t see how this thing could end without him getting utterly vaporized, his very being incinerated. He closed his eyes and pictured it, his heart burned to a crisp and his lungs scarred from breathing in scalding hot air. It was like every mission he’d ever been on, every op that went bad, every loss he’d ever suffered, all rolled into one. Steve knew it wasn’t healthy, hell, it wasn’t _smart_ , to give someone else that level of power over you. But Danny Williams, well, he wasn’t just anyone. He was someone special, someone that Steve could see himself sticking around for. Laying down his life would be too easy – Steve would do that for anyone, without even being asked – but sticking around through the hard times, the fights and the long nights, _that_ meant something. Resisting the urge to ship out at the first sign of trouble, to close off his emotions and go for a swim instead of having a hard conversation, to disappear in a way that he knew no one but a trained SEAL could even hope to follow, well, _that_ was what he was willing to do for Danny Williams. Hell, he’d more or less done it already. Danny was at his house all the time. They were constantly in each other’s lives. He had a more physical, easy rapport with Danny than anyone he’d ever met in his whole life. So why couldn’t he just man up and _do it?_ Six little words: _Will you go out with me?_ That’s all it would take, and his life would change. And that was the problem, wasn’t it? Because as much as he hated this limbo, this hell of will-they-or-won’t-they, him burning on the sidelines while an oblivious Danny dated his way though the female population of Hawaii, well, not having Danny at _all_ , as _nothing_ , not even a _friend_ – that was far worse, and to be honest, Navy training or not, Steve wasn’t sure he’d survive the loss. He wasn’t even sure he’d _want_ to. So he held his tongue, let the doubts creep in, and quietly drowned in a prison of his own making.

The days with Danny were hard. But the dreams, when he was alone at night and lying vulnerable in his bed, those were the worst: You’re not handsome enough. You’re not emotionally intuitive enough. You’re too rough around the edges. Your hair is getting gray. Your abs have too many scars. Your eyes aren’t the right shade. You’re too clumsy when it comes to close contact. You care too much. You don’t care enough. You’re big and awkward and useless, Steve. _Not enough, not enough, not enough_ would echo through his head until he awoke, sweating, and swung his legs out of bed. Every night, he padded over to the window. Looking out, he would focus on the moon, the stars, and the way they reflected off the sea; the sound of the waves, and the soft breeze moving through the trees. He would take deep breaths, consciously pushing Danny out of his mind by focusing on the details of the natural world until he felt okay enough to go back to sleep.

It got so bad that Danny asked him about it one day, citing the haunted look in his eyes ( _your eyes aren’t the right shade…_ Steve heard the voices say) and how dark the shadows under his lashes were ( _you’re too rough around the edges…_ ). Steve made up an excuse, knowing the panic showed in his eyes and not even caring anymore, before he literally turned tail and ran away. _Smooth…_ he berated himself. He was used to this; he knew what to do. He put his hands on his knees, took some deep breaths, visualized the sound of the sea and the sting of salt in his eyes. This was _familiar_. He was okay. He had practically _expected_ this. What he hadn’t counted on was Danny following him.

Danny found Steve in a supply closet on the second floor of the Iolani Place. As the door swung open, Steve seemed to move at warp speed, straightening up and regulating his breathing, slouching back against a shelf like nothing was wrong. But Danny had seen him, in that split second before Steve had locked it all away; Danny had seen the look in Steve’s eyes as he’d rushed to right his appearance.

“Steve?” Danny said tentatively, holding up his hands in a placating gesture, like he was dealing with a wild animal. Steve nodded, _okay_ , and Danny came inside, closing the door softly behind him.

“So, buddy,” Danny said, careful to keep his tone light, conversational. “What’s going on with you lately?” The top button of Danny’s shirt was undone, and the tie was missing today. Steve’s whole world narrowed down to that minute detail; he couldn’t lift his focus from it. “Steve?” Danny said again, ducking his head, trying to get a look at his partner’s face. But Steve was at war with himself. Trying, and failing, to maintain order, control, propriety –

Steve surged forward, catching Danny’s face in his hands and tilting his head to kiss him deep.

Steve’s heart was pounding like he was in a firefight, but Danny responded almost immediately, clapping one hand to the back of Steve’s neck and fisting the other at his waist, pulling him in. They stayed like that for a while, kissing intently, frenzied but somehow content at the same time. Steve pulled away first, swiping a hand over his forehead, and prepared to say, “sorry,” to watch his life crumble before his eyes. But Danny surprised him. He _laughed._ And that – that was worse than anything Steve had even _imagined._ That Danny could be so cruel…Steve could _feel_ his heart breaking, right then and there, but suddenly Danny spoke.

“ _That?! That_ was what was bothering you? Oh, my friend, you really are not smooth, are you?” He said it with such fondness, such love, that Steve dared to hope, and instead of closing down, he just smiled and ducked his head, sheepish. “Yeah…” he drawled, not sure what else to say. Danny spoke for him.

“Come here, you goof,” Danny said, and tugged Steve down for another kiss, this time a bit more gentle, controlled, but no less passionate. He paused for a moment, looked up at Steve, who was sure everything was plain on his face, and said, “I love you, too, you goof.” Steve barely managed a verbal response before they were kissing again.

An unfortunate Chin found them an hour later while on the hunt for more Post-Its. He yelled for Kono, who came skidding into view, wallet in one hand, the other extended toward Chin, palm out. “You’re lucky I’m an ethical man,” Chin grumbled. “I didn’t _have_ to tell you.” Kono opened her mouth to reply, but Steve was no longer paying attention. _Danny loved him._ Danny _loved_ him. So Steve just beamed through the cousins' bickering exchange as Danny held him close. And for once in his life, Steve didn’t mind one bit that he wasn’t Smooth.


End file.
